LEAVING

I can smell the black, sticky rubber 

moving further away

Covered in exhaust - exhaustion

Breathing hard through the fumes - fuming

 

If only I were a tree, I could understand

roots - rooting for stability

Covered in leaves - for leaving

I still wouldn't get enough oxygen 

 

Left in the in between

Like a sunset - a hum of yellow 

Yellow like the sting of a bee - just being 

Will it ever be light enough to see 

 

I swim to the bottom of the ocean 

trying to find something to grasp.

Grasping at plastic straws - reuse me 

And throw me back in so I can search again - gasping

 

I would never fit in your boat. 

But, save me - life jacket, straight jacket, yellow jacket

Waves crash - the sound of crushing metal 

Bringing me back to the sidewalk - crushed

 

Hold me to the air 

Let me feel the wind – I am winded 

Like a bluebird feather that catches the beat - like suede shoes

Dancing on your rooftop - but no answer 

 

I open a new door. 

The way to my own salvation - almost salvaged 

My own raft - anchored like a pine tree - pining

for the depths of my soul 

 

But, still, as the wind blows steady - I steady myself

for your scents that linger. Cents and pennies - 

not worth anything. . . but everything.

I must move through them - the fee to feeling, again.

                                   

I remember the memories you let go.

They blow through the wheat fields of dreams

They stick in the corners of my brain like pollen – I am cornered

Stuck in amber. I tuck myself in.

 

Amber waves

of fields turned to rivers - they wave goodbye 

and wash away your worth. 

Just pennies and scents.